Chastity and Love: BFF's

Oh love. Glorious, marvelous love. It makes boys smile in spite of themselves, and girls blush while their eyes light up. Love is great. It's great to be in love, no one can deny that. But, love has a best friend and counterpart.
Chastity. 
Be prepared to read that word about fifty times, more or less. While all of the virtues are wonderful and holy, chastity happens to be one that is near and dear to my little heart. Since I have experienced the utter joy, peace, love and patience (note: a few fruits of the Holy Spirit) that chastity brings, I cannot stress how important and fulfilling it is to practice this virtue. 

But what is chastity?

Bl. John Paul II put it excellently as follows, "Chastity can only be thought of in the association of the virtue of love." 

However, what is love? Really and truly? Whether we admit it or not, we all long for love. That is not a bad thing. We were created for love, and to be loved. First, it should be by our Heavenly Father; the only One Who can fully and completely satisfy the thirst for love. I firmly believe that when a person loves God above all, He will guide them to the form of love He has planned for him or her. It could be through holy matrimony, holy orders, or blessed singleness. However, one should not fret or be opposed to any of these great vocations, because each one is perfectly assigned through Divine Providence, by a God Who makes no mistakes. 

Now then, all of this information is good, even great, to internalize. But it still hasn't answered the first question. 

Ready for it?

Love is sacrifice and desiring the greater good for your beloved, even when it means dying to yourself.

Before I begin to explain how chastity ties in with this definition of love, let us look at Christ crucified. It is not an easy image to see, but this is love. 
Behold the greatest act of love that has ever been accomplished on this Earth.

Christ crucified is the absolute perfect image of true love. He completely and fully died and sacrificed Himself for His bride, the Church, His beloved, for her greater good. The crucifix is all masculine and all love. How so? Love is and calls for sacrifice. A boy doesn't become a man when he loses his virginity; he becomes a man when he learns to forget himself in order to selflessly sacrifice... which is hence, masculine. So men, to learn how to be masculine, and how to love in a chaste and pure way, look to Jesus crucified. Yes, it is difficult, but to die to yourself for the greater good of your beloved, whether it be to a woman, or to the Church under holy orders, will only make you a better, more Christ-like man. Next, in soars chastity. My favorite speaker on chastity, Jason Evert, has said, "Chastity teaches you to give yourself to another in a sacrificial way." 

To be chaste and practice chastity, does not mean to be prudish or to be as physically unattractive as you can. Think of it this way: the ugliest person could be the most unchaste person, while the most beautiful can be the most chaste. Chastity also is not the same as repression, as if it is holding you back or stopping you from anything. As the ordered approach to love, chastity does the opposite. It frees you to authentically love in a pure, selfless and amazing way... without being sexual. The world would gasp at such an expression of love, but take a look at how those relationships end up working out, as in usually failing. Harsh, yet true. 

As chastity and modesty go hand-in-hand, there is an air of mystery about the relationship. What is not seen and what is unknown, is alluring and provides a stronger foundation to the couple practicing chastity, because they are falling in the love for the right reasons, without the worry of lust. When a couple is sexually active, the relationships tend to end more quickly, because lust is impatient. As Jason Evert has also said, "Love can wait to give, but lust can't wait to get." However, chastity provides the protection that is needed to sift out the users. Chastity also brings forth the opportunity to love one another in pure, non-sexual ways. This can be through little gifts, innocent time spent together and so on. With the elimination of sex and impure actions, lust is thrown out the window and genuine love is invited in. With the distraction of sex out of the picture, the pair can really focus on getting to know each other, and clearly discern if their vocations are to be married. 

Chastity challenges men to go beyond their sexual desires, and show their beloved that they can chastely and purely love and relate to them, beyond their body. Ladies, don't settle for a guy who isn't willing to do this for you. No man has any right to your body, until he lifts your wedding veil and puts a ring on your finger. At the bottom of every girls' heart, she wants to be loved for who she is, beyond her sexuality. Only after marriage, should you give your husband the priceless, beautiful gift of yourself, and he the same for you. The marital act isn't bad, and isn't dirty, because it comes from God, and He does not create anything that is bad or dirty. It is good, sacred and holy, when it is done within the boundaries of marriage, the only place where it is meant to be. When you truly love someone, you do what is best for them, at all costs. To put the sin of impurity on their soul is not what is best for them, because true love waits. It is patient and not rushed. 

Yet, even if you have made mistakes in the past, what matters the most is where you go from here, as Jason Evert and his wife, Crystalina, always note. Chastity opens the door for a love that is authentic, pure, peaceful and focused on the greatest good for the whole person. Meanwhile, its' counterfeit offers stress, the potential pain of being used, and an uneasy conscience. Why an uneasy conscience? Notice that when something is chaste and pure, it does not have to be rationalized and peace comes with it.

Which form of love will you choose to give and receive?

Before I end this post, I have one thing left to say. Pray for your future spouse, even if you have not met them yet. Your prayers for them can make a world of a difference in their lives. Girls, entrust your future husband to St. Joseph. Guys, entrust your future wife to Our Blessed Mother. Praying for your future spouse and knowing that they are out there somewhere should help you to live a chaste life; wouldn't you also want them to live a chaste life, prior to your marriage? Even if your vocation is not holy matrimony, living a chaste lifestyle will greatly benefit your vocation of holy orders or blessed singleness. When you respect and treat your sexuality with the dignity and reverence it deserves, you are also honoring God, He Who is also love. 

St. Maria Goretti, St. Raphael, St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Gemma Galgani, St. Gianna Beretta Molla, Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati, St. Augustine, chaste heart of St. Joseph, Mater Dolorosa, pray for us.

Stay strong, chaste and pure, authentic love awaits...

-Yvonne Gemma

Websites and Blogs I Like

I am relatively new to the blogosphere, but experienced in social networking. During my time on the world wide web, I have came upon and discovered quite a few great, thoroughly Catholic fellow blogs and positive websites. By positive, I mean good for your soul. Here are my favorites, and I sincerely hope and pray that they may benefit you, as they have done for me. 

Blogs

Seraphic Singles (note: this blog is specifically for ladies, sorry men.)

The Crescat

Bad Catholic

Jackie Francois' and Bobby Angel's blog

Leah Darrow's blog

Websites

Fish Eaters: The Whys and Hows of Traditional Catholicism
Made In His Image

Imagine Sisters Movement

Chastity.com (for guys and girls alike, yay chastity!)

The Art of Manliness (Alright manly men, this one is just for you.)

Enjoy! 

Mater Dolorosa, ora pro nobis,

-Yvonne Gemma

Yes, I'm That Girl Who Veils

As a Catholic girl, there are certain items and articles I carry with me a good portion of the time. Rosaries, holy cards, my spiritual journal, my breviary, a Benedictine crucifix, and my personal favorite; my veil. From some Catholics, I can hear it now, "A veil? Isn't that old fashioned and out dated?"
Before I begin to explain this, let me say this first: the point of this post is not to look down upon anyone, or to smack anyone around with my veil or liturgical snobbery. The point of this post is to shine some light on the beauty of veiling, because I have found it to be very rewarding and I want to share that with others.
Now that we have that covered, let us continue in a charitable, open-minded manner.
Let's begin! The veil is a head covering worn by women during mass, in the presence of the Holy Eucharist, including when He is hidden in the Tabernacle and exposed in the monstrance. Regarding the matter, the Code of Canon Law 1917 states: "1262.2 Men are to assist at sacred functions, whether in the church or outside of it, with their heads uncovered, unless a reasonable custom or special circumstances justify a departure from this rule. Women, however, should cover their heads and be dressed modestly, particularly when they approach the Lord's table."
If Canon Law states that women should have their heads covered... Then why did this tradition cease to be practiced? In 1983, another Code of Canon Law was written. However, it did not mention veiling. Although it was not abrogated, the tradition of veiling became a voluntary practice. But, let's look back about 20 years before this happened. During the expansion of the feminist movement in the 1960's, the veil was viewed as degrading and negatively patriarchal. So, along with their bra burning, they also burned their veils. This was done in direct defiance to the Church, to supposedly liberate themselves from this "demeaning" practice. 

However, from another perspective, veiling is a beautiful inner and outer act of voluntary humility, all for the greater glory of Our Lord. 

Let's face it: women are beautiful. In the book of Genesis, God saved the best for last when He created woman; the crescendo of creation. Now because women are so beautiful, their beauty can be distracting (especially to our brothers in Christ) during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. In mass, the highest form of prayer, all of our focus should be on God, not on those around us. When a woman veils, she is silently saying, "Don't look at me, but look to God." 

So in essence, we do not veil ourselves because we are bad to look at, or because we are shameful, lesser human beings. Not at all. We veil because we are wonderful creations of the Lord, but we acknowledge that He is infinitely greater than us, and through covering ourselves, we elevate Him. In my own personal experience of veiling, I have found that it greatly diminishes distractions and provides a sense of tunnel vision to assist in focusing on the Lord. To the statement that veiling is old-fashioned and out-dated, I say this, "Since when is having reverence for God old-fashioned?"

Another great reason to veil is because it imitates Mother Mary and the saints. Mother Mary is always depicted veiling, and most female saints also veiled, like St. Maria Goretti, for example. 

Now that we have learned that veiling is a beautiful act of humility and love, let's take a moment to address what veiling is not.

Veiling should not be used to puff oneself up, or to say, "Hey everyone, look at me! I'm waaay more holier than all of you!!" To do so would be an abuse of the veil, and counterproductive to its true meaning. 

If you're feeling inspired to begin veiling, I highly recommend the mantillas from Veils by Lily

That's it for now, may the Holy Spirit inspire you today and always,

Mater Dolorosa, ora pro nobis,

-Yvonne Gemma

I Suppose I Should Introduce Myself

As I typed up the title of this post, I subconsciously asked myself, "Who am I?" A moment later, I was singing, "Who am I? Who am I? I'm Jean Valjean!" But alas, I am not Jean Valjean. However my name is French, and I am also Roman Catholic, but that's as far as the comparison goes. Since we are on the topic of what I am, let us continue. I am a big sister, daughter, friend and student. All very typical titles. One day, through further discernment and working alongside God's will, I will be a Mrs., or Sister, or I may still remain a Miss. It's all fair game, but that's not very important at the moment. Then what is important? What's important is who I am right now, and who I will always be, from my present state of youth, to my future state of advanced age. 
Who I am will continue to prevail, whatever my vocation may be. You're probably thinking, "Okay Yvonne, get to the point. Who are you?!" 
It's quite simple, yet still extraordinary. 
I'm a daughter of the King.
That's exactly who I am. It's who I'll always be; what I've been created to be. I couldn't ask to be anything more. Nevertheless, it's no different then what you also are, my dear readers. You are also sons and daughters of the King. How divinely awesome is that?  
When I was younger, I didn't realize that I wouldn't find my identity in the music I liked, or "look" I tried to have. I kept wondering why I felt so unfulfilled, incomplete and overall bored with my life... bored, although I had everything. Or so I thought. Finally, one night I took a step back from my worldliness. It wasn't until I was fully face-to-face, bowing to the King, that I found what my heart had so desired. Love. The complete, unbroken, unblemished love that only He can give. It was that night that I found my true identity... in Him. 

"You have made us for Yourself O Lord, and our hearts are restless, until they rest in You."
               -St. Augustine


Until next time, au revoir.
Mater Dolorosa, ora pro nobis,
-Yvonne Gemma

10 Tips and Shortcuts I've Learned Throughout the Years

Before I attempt to say anything wise or spiritual, I must say this first: I'm a list-maker. I'm truly a left-brained thinker, much to my dear mothers annoyance. But hey, that's just the way the Good Lord programmed my brain. Now then, because I thrive in list-making, it only makes sense to begin my very first post with... you guessed it, a list. So, without further ado, here are 10 things that I have learned in my experience as a Catholic adolescent. These points may be preaching to the choir, but bear with me. 

1) Pray the Rosary often

The rosary is a powerhouse of graces. St. Josemaria Escriva sums it up perfectly when he said, "The Holy Rosary is a powerful weapon. Use it with confidence and you'll be amazed at the results."

Call Mother Mary often, you've got nothing to lose by it, and much to gain. 

2) Make Momma Mary your best friend

This can be done through praying the holy rosary. With her by your side, holding your hand, your journey through this life will be much sweeter. Don't be afraid to embrace her, she's already waiting for you.

3) The sooner you accept Divine Providence, the better

But what is Divine Providence? I will delve much deeper into this on another day, but in a nutshell, it is God's complete plan for your life. Every joy, sorrow, triumph and hardship you endure, is all from Him, and yes, it all serves a greater purpose. The sooner you accept it, the more you work with Divine Providence. It's basically abandoning your will to His, which is one of the best things you can do for yourself because it allows Him to work with you. Pretty cool, if I do say so myself.

4) Stay away from discerners

This goes for both guys and girls alike. If someone says, "I'm discerning.", then that's a sign to run the other way. Fast. Especially if it's the religious life. Or to not be as extreme, keep them at an arm's length. Better yet, two arms length. Discerning is a time to focus on trying to figure out where God is willing you to be, and it's not a time to become distracted... especially not romantically. To avoid potential heartache and sticky situations, keep a healthy distance (emotionally and physically) from the Discerner and pray for them. That's it. No more, no less. Then go on your happy way and focus on Jesu Rex Admirabilis. Because really, there's no better companion than Him. :)

5) Guard the senses

I'll be quick and honest about this one. Turn off the smutty shows and impure music. Avoid raunchy movies and dirty "literature". Did a tv series or artist you like come to mind? Good. If it's picking at your conscience, then it's most likely not benefiting your soul in a positive way. 

6) Surround yourself with good, Catholic friends
It's much easier to live out your faith when your friends on your side. I have been very blessed to be part of an awesome, Catholic community where we're all on the same page. Think of it this way, "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." Prov. 27:17
If you're not being sharpened... are you being dulled instead?

7) Read about the saints daily
When I was a mere tweenager, barely discovering the beauty of Catholicism, I had the habit of reading about different saints, every single day. This worked out wonderfully because every day is the feast of at least one or several great saints. I highly recommend doing this, because not only will it increase your knowledge of holy men and women, but there's an abundance to learn from each and every one of them.

8) Make good use of the sacraments
Go to confession, go to mass, baptize your adorable babies! The sacraments are beautiful because they only take the bad away, and leave you with the good, to assist you in reaching Heaven.

9) Develop a strong prayer life
I will leave this to a quote from St. Padre Pio, "Prayer is the oxygen to the soul." (I really like saint quotes, if you haven't noticed.)

10) Go to adoration
I mean, it's adoration! It's spending time with the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, our glorious Savior, Jesus Christ Himself. He waits for you, yes you. Go to Him, love Him, talk to Him, lay your troubles at the foot of His throne, let yourself be enveloped in His great, unfathomable and ever-burning love. 

That's a wrap for this post, but I hope you enjoyed it and I will be back soon with more ramblings and things of that sort. 

Mater Dolorosa, ora pro nobis.
-Yvonne Gemma