My Veiling Story

While this blog is definitely not my diary or private spiritual journal, it recently dawned on me to tell a story about myself. My little story isn't extravagant or extraordinary. It's simply the story of how I began veiling. Recently at mass, I noticed a little girl wearing a cap veil. It reminded me of how I started my journey to discovering the veil. Like all journeys, there is a beginning. As a little girl, about 8 or 9 years old, I somehow became fascinated with chapel veils. This can only be accredited to Divine Providence, because I had never seen anyone wear them in person, and nobody in my family had one either. At a Catholic conference, I saw a vendor selling them. As soon as I saw the banner picturing a veiled girl, I instantly wanted one. However in my young shyness/awkwardness, I said nothing but kept glancing back at the booth every time we passed by. Finally, I asked my mom if I could have one. I don't remember her reaction, but we went to look at them. I really, really wanted a triangle shaped lace veil, like the girl in the picture. But since I had never veiled before and knew nothing about them, my wise mother decided it would be prudent to buy a small cap instead. So, I began to wear it to mass. Although I was still very young and didn't understand the mass, for the first time, my small veil made me feel that mass was holy and important. Amidst it slipping off and the weird looks, I continued to wear it. Looking back, I was probably the only one to wear a veil. 

However, somewhere along the lines, I stopped wearing it. Soon after, it became lost. Veiling diminished from my radar. It faded away, but not completely. Years passed before I considered veiling again. Prior to this, I was in a very dark place. While I was totally blinded, God was slowly but surely preparing me for my reversion. During this fiasco, veiling didn't cross my mind even once. I didn't understand the veil itself, or the meaning behind it. Didn't only old ladies wear it? I regularly went to adoration and mass without one. 

After being a lone ranger for some time, God brought me to my wonderful community. All of my girl friends veiled, and I remembered my little cap. I suddenly remembered how much I had liked veiling, so I got a new one. Thus, I began veiling again, and haven't stopped since then. Now that I was older and aching for true Catholicism, I finally learned and realized the significance and beauty behind the simple chapel veil. Throughout this, I was also in the middle of my reversion. It happened gradually, but God made sure that I wouldn't be lost forever. One night in quiet, reverent adoration, I came back to Him in a fruitful and beautiful way, more than ever before. After that, I was swimming in an ocean of grace. While I liked my little white veil, soon after I upgraded to a bigger one. Several months later, I upgraded once more, this time to the one I always wanted; a Spanish style mantilla. Jokingly, my parents have said that this is the last veil they'll ever give me, once I'm married and need a black one, I'll be on my own! 

One important tidbit I should mention is that the veil itself didn't single handedly cause my reversion, although it did help greatly. My reversion was brought about through painful experiences where the brilliant rays of God's mercy and love ultimately broke though. Just as when I was a little girl, the veil helped me remember that mass is sacred, holy and of great importance. It taught me to focus all of my attention on Him and most importantly how to have humility before Him, in all of His glory. The deep meaning behind it also reminded me of my self-worth, as a daughter of God. As an example, think of a Tabernacle with a veil over it. The Tabernacle holds life within it; Jesus Christ in the Holy Eucharist. What is holy is veiled. Women also bear life, but through the womb. The womb is also a tabernacle of life; so therefore it is also holy. With women as co-creators of life, they too should be veiled. However, as I have said before, veiling is also an act of loving humility towards our Lord, to give all of the glory to Him, rather than ourselves. When a woman veils, not only is she deflecting attention from herself, but she is also wordlessly saying that she is a bride of Christ, preparing to be united with Him. 

I am deeply fond of veiling, and I'll never stop. Going into a church or adoration chapel without one feels one feels uncomfortable now, at least for me. In contrast when I do wear my veil, a sense of peace is nearby. While the idea of beginning to veil may be scary at first, I can say that from experience that it's totally and completely worth it. At the beginning you may be uncomfortable, people might just give you weird looks, and not everyone will understand. This brings to mind what Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI said, "The world promises you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness."

If you are feeling a little tug to begin veiling, listen to that whisper, and be not afraid. Veiling might be scarce in your parish, but it is indeed making a slow but steady comeback. It takes courage to veil, but that's just what the Church needs; courageous souls! I hope you enjoyed my little story, and may the Holy Spirit be with you now and always.

Mater Dolorosa, ora pro nobis,
-Yvonne Gemma