To Love and Be Loved

For the past few days, setting and keeping high standards has been mulling over in my mind. I have a list of 40-something non-negotiable standards that I  expect in my future spouse, if that is my vocation, God willing. Don't get me wrong, they're not anything fantastical, outlandish or impossible to live up to. Who knows, as time passes, I may even add more. The standards that I keep are my rock; if a guy doesn’t meet even one of them, out he goes. End of story. Ain’t nobody got time for anything else! It’s not that I’m asking for perfection, because I’m not perfect myself, but I know exactly what I want, and I won’t waste my time on someone I couldn’t see myself marrying. Yeah, I’m that kind of girl, praise the Lord most high.
Is having high standards hard? Yup.
At the end of the day, with my empty inbox in the morning and at night, is it even worth it? You bet.

I've never had one serious boyfriend, and that truly doesn't bother me because I'm content knowing that I'm saving my affections and the like for one man, even if I haven't met him yet. If anything, it saddens me that our society ambushes girls with the idea that if they don’t have a boyfriend, or multiple ex's, they're failing at life as a female. Not true! I’m no feminist, so I’m not going to hate on men, but you don’t absolutely have to have a man in your life, 24/7. In order for yourself to grow spiritually and emotionally, there needs to be a time of singleness, and there is nothing wrong or embarrassing about that, because you’re discovering who you are, and finding yourself before you find someone else. 

I’m constantly stressing that just because a guy is nice and says sweet things, it doesn’t mean you’re suddenly obliged to date him. In my book, being nice and smelling good aren't anything to be praised. Firstly because everyone should be genuinely nice, without ulterior motives. Secondly, no one should purposefully stink. Crazy, I know. However, if he can lead you to Heaven and ultimately closer to God than to himself, then that is to be praised. You go, guy.  

If all girls could see their true worth, there would be a change in the tide. My sisters, you are worth so, so much more than a guy who doesn't care about your soul, or respecting you as a whole person, instead of a collection of body parts. There's no such thing as the perfect man (at least on Earth), but the right man will be perfect for you. In the meantime, you don’t have to be bruising your precious heart over and over again. Patience is key.
In part, we girls are so eager for love, we can easily cling to the first thing that foggily resembles an ounce of love, and lie to ourselves that it’s the real deal. But I am begging and pleading you, from the bottom of my heart, to be strong and hold out for the true, chaste love that you deserve and desire. Why specifically chaste love? Bl. John Paul II put it perfectly when he said, "Only the chaste man and the chaste woman are capable of true love." Along with pure friendship, chastity is the foundation of authentic love, which I've talked about numerous times in previous posts. It's not bad that we long for love. I repeat, it is not bad or shameful that we long for love. It’s good. It shows that we desire to be unselfish, and give ourselves to another. It’s been wired into all of our dear hearts by our Heavenly Father, and the same goes for men, mingled with their desire to protect. 

To put it this way, what good ever comes out of impatience? Look at the Israelites in Sacred Scripture. God had the Promised Land laid out for them, yet they were increasingly impatient to get there. To parallel, think of yourself; are you trusting that God has a perfect plan for your desires of love, or are you taking the matter into your own hands and rushing it? 
God is good, and He has perfect plans for each and every one of us, but we are the ones who grow impatient and anxious. I won’t sit here and preach that I’ve never been tempted to settle for less, or have never grown anxious and lonely, or have never felt forever alone. The struggle is real. Despite the occasional rough patches, my desire for authentic love is stronger than the fleeting emotions and those are the times where I remind myself that God isn’t done yet. For all I know, it's only the beginning. At the end of the day, I have joy in the knowledge that Christ loves me much, much more, a million times more than any man ever could or can. This goes for everyone. If I've learned anything during this period of (technically, aside from family and friends) being on my own, it's that we will never be content with anything, until we allow ourselves to love and be loved by Christ. There is nothing on this Earth, that will truly and fully satisfy our yearning for love, but His. 

So my sisters, first love and be loved by Christ alone. Everything else will fall into place. It takes courage, but be those women of courage and trust Him completely, and give Him your heart. I can promise you that it will be the best decision you'll ever make. While you're at it, embrace your God-given femininity. No matter what the world says, it's beautiful and has the power to inspire men for the better. 
And for you manly men out there, continue to be true gentlemen, and don't be afraid of your masculinity. It's also God-given, and this world desperately needs masculine fathers, priests and men who aren't afraid to be men. Your future families, (or parishes) will thank you.

Not-So-Happy Halloween

Praise the Lord all ye nations. For a quick recap, I'm still alive and well but I've just been very busy with growing up, senior work, my community, family and teaching not one, but two catechism classes. Praise the Lord. I'm definitely not complaining because I like to see it as a joyful sort of chaos which Divine Providence has perfectly planned, even though I sometimes feel like I'm running around like a chicken without a cluck-cluck head. Hallelujah!

Moving on, obviously it's October. Cue the pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks and fabulous crisp air. Just kidding about Starbucks, I don't support them anymore because they stomp all over what I hold dear to my little heart and they don't want my business anyways. Now where was I? Oh yes, October.
Along with the pumpkin spice everything (guilty as charged) and wonderful weather, in comes the not-so-pleasant side of the month: the twisted celebration of the occult and culture of death. I'm not only pinpointing Halloween, because the (near) whole of society has embraced October as being creepy, crawly and flat-out demonic. To that, I shaketh my noggin with contempt. Perhaps I'm being extreme, but I don't think it's cute or festive to celebrate what I mentioned earlier; the occult and culture of death. And yet, the disturbing celebration of the occult (which is evil) and the culture of death (which is also evil, and yes, evil does indeed exist, but I suppose the media must have "forgotten" to mention that Pope Francis spoke of this often last week; evil existing, that is) happens year-round, just not so in our faces with the orange and black decor.

St. Jerome, pray for us

Take The Walking Dead, for example. I'll be honest and say that I've never really watched it, but I know enough about it by now. It just never peaked my interest and frankly, zombies aren't exactly visually appealing. Anyways, I find the series to be perturbing because not only does it glorify the C.o.D but it is also emotionally, morally and visually desensitizing to our modern culture. You know what I'm talking about if you've watched it; the gore, the deaths, the killings, the eating of flesh and so on with the savage violence  What happened to decency and our sense of decorum? I also find it disturbing that our nation is so enthralled with it, because that tells me that our country is literally looking to the dark to try and fill the void of the absence of God in this culture, but it is failing and failing miserably. However, that's not to say that there is no hope. This post isn't just to slam The Walking Dead, although it isn't beneficial to our souls in the slightest way, especially being Catholic. But I digress on The Walking Dead and will leave that as food for personal thought.

For October as a whole, I find it to be truly sad that instead of celebrating the lives of the great and holy saints in preparation for All-Saints Day, we choose to glorify what is dark and evil, instead of what is pure and holy. My sincere prayer is that instead of running away from the light, we can all one day embrace it... instead of embracing the wolves in sheep's clothing. 
But don't get me totally wrong; I enjoy dressing up for fun and eating charitably-given candy. But I do not enjoy the macabre and utterly demonic influence over the whole month. In fact, I have a disdain for it. I can hear it now; "Come on Yvonne, you're so uptight, it's just all fun and games." Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and my opinion is that if we are continuously inviting in the dark instead of the light, what will become of our souls?


To each his own, but I'm going to be the Halloween-Hipster and celebrate Holyween instead.. err.. Hipsterween? No, just Holyween. Pax fras.

If I don't dress up my future children as
little saints and holy people, they'll be food. Like cupcakes
or jelly-beans. Seriously.

A Mother's Tears: Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows

 Happy feast of Our Lady of Sorrows! I am delighted to finally say that earlier today I finished my Marian consecration using St. Louis de Montfort's formula, so I am now consecrated to Our Lady of Sorrows. *cue the hoorays and confetti in my mind* This was my first Marian consecration, and being consecrated to the Mater Dolorosa couldn't be anymore aligned with Divine Providence. Deo gratias! 

 For the remainder of this day, I strongly urge you to remember Our Lady's pains, sympathize with her and thank her. When she gave her fiat, not only did she say yes to joy, but also to sorrow. How selfless and loving is she to have said yes to suffering the most agonizing martyrdom of all.  
While most of us will naturally be inclined to shy away from suffering pains, our loving mother embraced them, just as her Divine Son embraced His own sorrowful Passion. One meditation that can be made on the Mater Dolorosa, is on her most pure tears, shed for her Divine Son. Bl. Catherine Anne Emmerich, who was granted visions of Our Lord's Passion, recounts in the Dolorous Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ, about Our Blessed Mother that during the Scourging at the Pillar: "She groaned feebly, and her eyes were red with weeping."

 Yes, her dolors were great; so great that if she had not been preserved by God, her soul would have departed her immaculate body. Yet, even though her sorrows are incomprehensible for us to fully understand, "Her one consolation at the sufferings of her Son was the knowledge that through His death we would be redeemed.*" Next to the Passion of her Divine Son, this is also an image of true love. And so, do not be afraid to approach Our Lady, because she loves you more than you can imagine. Her sorrows are evidence of this. Her Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart loves like no other; the Heart of a selfless, patient, understanding and beautiful mother, both inside and out. Go to her; she's waiting for you with open arms, so that she may gently guide you to her beloved Son.

"Can the human heart refrain from
partaking in her pain, in that Mother's pain untold?"
-from the Stabat Mater

Mater Dolorosa, ora pro nobis, now and always.
-Yvonne Gemma

*quoted from Devotion to the Sorrowful Mother (highly recommended for fostering a devotion to her)

Saint Spotlight: St. Gabriel of Our Lady of Sorrows

I am very, very excited about this particular saint spotlight, because St. Gabriel just happens to be my favorite male saint and patron. Since I like telling stories, here is the story of how I "met" St. Gabriel Possenti.

When I was about 11, I won a game at a church All Saints' Day party. My prize was a very small picture of St. Gabriel. Soon after I lost this image, and forgot his name. I wouldn't recognize his image again for years, but I'm sure that he had been praying for me since that day, and maybe even before then. Fast forward to mid-January of 2013. At the time I was sick, so I was resting in bed reading a book I had received for Christmas only a few weeks before. It was called, "Modern Saints: Their Lives and Faces". As I read about the lives of great saints and holy people, one young man stuck out to me the most. His name was St. Gabriel of Our Lady of Sorrows. As soon as I saw his picture, I remembered my own small image from years ago. From there I learned of his intercession with my own patron, St. Gemma, and the rest is history.

"Our perfection does not consist of
doing extraordinary things, but to do
the ordinary well."

St. Gabriel of Our Lady of Sorrows

Born: March 1st, 1838, Assisi, Italy

Died: February 27th, 1862, Gran Sasso, Kingdom of Italy

Occupation: Passionist seminarian 

Cause of holy death: At 24 years old, St. Gabriel died of tuberculosis before he could see his ordination. To the dismay of his novice master, he had previously prayed for the grace of a slow and early death, so that he could spiritually prepare himself.

He is a shining example to youth with religious vocations, because while he did put off his own religious vocation for some time, after Our Lady called him, he readily left his world of dancing, being fashionable, socializing and the sort, to fulfill his true calling, which was that of a religious brother. There are so many inspirations to draw to from his life; how he patiently fought for his vocation, the way he strived to perfect his state of life as a seminarian, but most of all, his love for Our Lady of Sorrows. St. Gabriel understood the pains of Our Lady, and the need to meditate upon them and compassionate with her. Through his ardent devotion to our Sorrowful Mother, St. Gabriel quickly reached the height of Christian perfection, and died a holy death. 

By loving Our Sorrowful Mother, not only do we sympathize with her dolors, but we also learn to see her beaten, battered Son through her own compassionate eyes; thus teaching us to better understand His dolorous Passion. By better understanding His Passion, we learn to greatly improve and heighten our love for Him, because we are no longer seeing the crucified Lord through our own eyes that are clouded with the effects of sin; but through the pure eyes of His most empathetic and loving mother, who witnessed the whole Passion in its real, full, achingly terrible and sanguinary entirety. 

Love Our Sorrowful Mother, who stood at the foot of the Holy Cross. Love her crucified Son, who by His Holy Cross, redeemed the world.

St. Gabriel Possenti, ora pro nobis,
Mater Dolorosa, ora pro nobis,

-Yvonne Gemma