Promise Me No Promise Ring

It all started a few weeks ago, with a text to the boyfriend.

I haven’t talked about dating in a while because the topic gets old and stale to me. But I do want to talk about promise rings since I’ve been meaning to for a long time. For a backdrop I myself have never found them to be romantic, cute, or even slightly desirable. They just scream of middle and high school kids who aimlessly date while having absolutely no business dating, when they don’t know what the purpose of dating is. If anyone tried giving me a promise ring I’d be seriously insulted and perturbed. I know a few others who also share the same sentiment, and rightly so.

Why the offense? Because it’s a cop out, a substitute, an ersatz offering. Of course there’s the trailing argument which goes something like, “Well, we’re not ready for marriage yet but we’re pledging to stay together and stay faithful until we are.” I call foul to that. Ready or not if that’s the person God wills you with then you should be working towards seriously getting ready anyhow; without cutesy little rings signifying nothing more than ambiguity. 

When a guy gives a girl a promise ring he’s basically saying, “Sweetheart, I like you a lot but I don’t actually love you enough to make a hard, real commitment through an engagement ring, so take this little substitute instead and it’ll be a real commitment later. You know, eventually, I don’t know when, but sometime in the ambiguous future.” 

So basically, “I’m committing to commit to you in the future, but until then I want you to commit to committing to me until I’m ready to commit to commit to you for real.” 

Come on now, what kind of mess is that? 

It’s lazily going halves, that’s what. When it comes to love and marriage, you cannot go halves or be lazy. It’s not 50/50, it’s 100/100. Men do what is hard and giving a promise ring isn’t very hard to do since it’s not a real commitment and there’s no hard work involved in that. I’m going to go as far to say that it’s an act of sloth because it’s avoiding what’s hard by choosing the easy way out. Promise rings require no real commitment and are some cheap, weak way to try to show off, which in retrospect isn’t and shouldn’t be very impressive. However, sincerely promising a marriage in the near future is what truly takes courageous virtue. 

A promise ring is also based on feelings, not action. That alone is problematic since love requires movement and can’t be based on stagnant hunks of jewelry to show off pseudo action. There we have a guy patting himself on the back for keeping his girlfriend appeased while he’s not actually doing anything, whilst thinking he’s made in the shade and has her in the bag. On the other hand the girl is starry-eyed and in awe that he’s promising to promise  to commit to her one day, eventually... who knows when. It just reeks of laziness and slowing down the thrill of the chase, which leads to boredom on both ends. Let me tell you something men; just because she’s your girlfriend right now, doesn’t mean she’ll always be there unless you actively keep her there by pursuing her like in the exciting early days of your relationship. For men I know it’s difficult to surrdener independence and whatnot, but if you have to promise to promise to eventually commit, that’s some shady business right there. A man should love a woman enough to have a strong desire to seriously commit in the near future, not later rather than sooner. But if not, then girl you’ve got yourself a selfish and immature man-child on your hands and you need to get out, fast. 

To me the act of a promise ring, or any kind of rings (that aren’t engagement or wedding) is simply not admirable or virtuous whatsoever. As a woman naturally in need of love, protection, and commitment, an empty future promise through an ersatz piece of chintzy jewelry simply doesn’t cut it. You can REEEEEE and turn on the keyboard warrior and say that all of the above isn’t your intention, but honestly you can’t really spin it any other way since promise rings are not a real or full commitment... that’s what engagement rings are for after all. 

Fall, Fundraisers, and Festivities

Hello, hi, hallo, and hola. Most importantly, happy All Saints Day! It’s basically all of our saints feast day, so I highly suggest you celebrate like I do, by feasting. I forget who but one saint said that enjoying things like good food can give praise to God, so go for it. Also, get to mass since it’s a holy day of obligation. 

After my last post about the Society I was invited to appear on the internet-based radio station, Magnificat Media. I shared the interview on my other social media outlets such as The Salty Catholic Facebook page and Instagram, but you can also take a listen here. If you’re not following those pages, you probably should since I post on those more often. Memes and the occasional controversy are included per usual. In the interview we discussed my infamous post, why I wrote it, and everything else in between. The interview was a great experience, Mike and Lisa Austin are wonderful and both truly such a delight to speak with. Magnificat Media itself is a treasure, they only share the truth and it’s an amazing resource for Catholics new and familiar to tradition. 

With that, I wholeheartedly invite all of my readers to participate in their Fall Fundraiser. You can read the full description here. The apostolate is so great and bringing souls closer to Christ, so I urge you to make whatever donation you can. It’s so important for traditional Catholics to have a multimedia resource such as this, so aside from donating I also urge you all to take a listen and give your support. 

I hope you all have a blessed All Saints Day, All Souls Day, and rest of the week. I have some ideas for new posts, so I’ll see you all soon. Pax! 

Let’s Talk About Why I go to SSPX

Secret’s out; I’ve been attending SSPX. It’s honestly not that big of deal to me, but it is to others so it needs to be addressed for various reasons. I totally realize that the decision to attend seems somewhat “out there” or even extreme, but I promise you that it’s nothing of the sort. The change was gradual and very well thought out. Despite those facts I’ve still faced some criticisms. For going to the Society I’ve been called not Catholic anymore, along with sedevacantist. To both I just laughed. See, I don’t get easily triggered and I’m not afraid of genuine discussions or debates, so I’m always open to talking about it. I’ve been called crazy ever since I started embracing tradition as a teenager, so it does’t faze me whatsoever. I don’t consider hiding behind the barbs of ad hominems and unprecedented accusations to be conducive to the veritable pursuit of truth, so let’s place our biases aside and simply talk about it. 

Prior to really getting into it, let’s first clarify what the Society is and is not. Before I go forward I need you, my readers, to understand what the Society is for what it is; not for what you’ve heard, have been told, or what you think it is. Information easily becomes false, misled, or erroneous, among both laypeople and even religious. It has become like a game of telephone; you won’t know exactly what it is until you find out firsthand, and I always make it of personal importance not to share anything that isn’t true. I won’t and don’t pretend to know everything about it, but I do know enough to continue to attend in good conscience.

Getting down to the basics, the Society of St. Pius X was founded by Archbishop Marcel Lefebvre, in 1970, in a diocese in Switzerland. Straight from the Society, here’s the mission: 

“The main goal of the Priestly Society of St. Pius X is to preserve the Catholic faith in its fullness and purity, to teach its truths, and to diffuse its virtues, especially through the Roman Catholic priesthood. Authentic spiritual life, the sacraments, and traditional liturgy are its primary means of bringing this life of grace to souls.” 

 
That’s it. There’s nothing crazy, wild, or not Catholic, or Protestant about it. My awesome priest put it this way, we are part of the Society especially because we want authentic Catholicism. I’m not sorry for attending, and I do not want some watered down version of our faith. I know I’m about to offend some people, but that’s what the Novus Ordo missae is; a watered down version of the Roman Missae, sometimes barely even Catholic. This isn’t a post bashing the novus ordo, yet it has to be said. It’s not well-known that several very important prayers, designed to garner us the graces our souls so desperately need, are totally and completely missing from the Novus Ordo missae, as compared to the traditional liturgy, (I believe only 2 or maybe 3 prayers are present out of the 12 in the TLM, correct me if I’m wrong). In less words, graces are choked out and it’s a fact. It’s not a fact just because I’m saying it is, or because a saint or pope has said it is, but because simply comparing the two liturgies will tell you it is. 

As sinners we need all of the graces we can get to overcome sin and to elevate our souls closer and closer to union with God. To me, there’s no point in attending a mass that has very little graces as compared to one abounding in grace. I dare you to ask yourself this, why are you letting yourself miss out on that? Notice that I’ve never once said that the Novus Ordo mass is invalid, so don’t even try to twist my words on that.  

Now I’ve heard the objection of remaining at Novus Ordo parishes to set the example of maintaining reverence, but I don’t buy that anymore in the slightest. I’ve tried it, and frankly it doesn’t work. It’s only working within the realms of your imagination. Hard to swallow but it’s true. When the altar is turned around with the priest facing the people, God isn’t the focus of mass anymore, it’s the people. Since it’s all about the people, no one is looking at the reverent ones; they’re too busy looking at themselves because that’s what taught and encouraged. My advice is to just stop going, get to a mass that’ll aid in saving your and your families souls, that’s what it comes down to. It doesn’t come down to “solidarity”, “unity”, or “fellowship”, with the parish community, that’s of no importance whatsoever. To me it is dangerous and foolish to be so presumptive that you don’t need the additional graces to save your soul. As they say, pride goes before the fall. I say this with love because I have been there, and because I care.

There’s also the controversy that SSPX is against the sitting pope or worse, sedevacantists. Before I started doing my own research or attending myself, I also thought it was sedevacantist. I couldn’t make the distinction between sedevacantism and SSPX because I was never correctly taught. Once about two years ago I stumbled upon an SSPX chapel where they were preparing for mass, and I falsely thought it was sede, since I didn’t know the difference, so I left in a hurry. The Society still remains under the pope, accepts him as Pontiff sitting in the Chair of Peter, and prays for him during mass. If anything I think the Society respects and honors the papacy more than others, but that’s just my opinion. At my parish we even have a picture of him in the hall, that doesn’t look like being anti-Pope to me. 

I understand that people think the Society is sedevacantist or outside of the Church because of the ordination of the bishop’s by Archbishop Lefebvre. Or, because the canonical status is irregular. (However that is changing) I’m here to tell you that the “excommunication” was never formal, and more about the case of Supplied Jurisdiction, which is in Canon Law. Since Archbishop Lefebvre acted and the Society acts under supplied jurisdiction, the Society is not acting outside of the Church, since again supplied jurisdiction is permissible in Canon Law. The thing about VII (whoop there it is) is that as only a pastoral council, it was never meant to be a binding council doctrinally, except within the case of faith and morals. Yet not everyone understands or cares to understand Canon Law, or what is binding and what is not binding, so as a result we have this misunderstanding. 

Yes, there’s controversy over the Society, but much of it is misinformation or straight out slander. You can give me a hundred reasons not to attend the Society, but I won’t stop. I’ve already heard them, with the rebuttals close behind. To add to it, I won’t even go to diocesan Latin masses if I can help it, and I’m not sorry or ashamed to admit it. 

The main reason I love the Society is because of the way it approaches the priesthood. Far too many men are effeminate, and I’m sick of it, especially in priests. Every single SSPX priest or seminarian I have come across has been masculine, and it’s so refreshing. I have much to say about watered down and effeminate novus ordo seminaries, but for that topic I will digress. I’m already trying to be feminine, and I don’t need a priest to be effeminate right next to me. For my own parish priest I have such respect and admiration that I’ve never had for another priest. He’s truly a father to me, and he’s showed me what a priest is to be. Not distant or discontented from his parishioners, but masculine and down in the trenches with them, actually taking the time to be there for them, and know us outside of just a quick handshake, and “God bless you,” after mass. I don’t want a priest who is only pastoral and not available to the people. SSPX gives the priesthood and priests back to the people as they are sacerdotal and I wish it were something we could all have, since it’s such a blessing and treasure. I think it’s something everyone, Catholic or not, should experience. 

The Society of St. Pius X is for everyone, and it’s not something to be afraid of or intimidated by. There your soul will be fed, challenged, and healed in a truly Catholic way. It’s been such a huge blessing for my family, and even boyfriend. The experience isn’t something I can fully put into words because it’s something you have to experience for yourself. I’ve shared much of my faith journey here, and after searching for so long, my soul is at home there, and home is where it will stay. 

                                   

Thursday Thrills

This is going to be a new segment on the blog wherein I post about things that are currently thrilling, on Thursdays. It most likely will not be every single Thursday, but let’s aim for once a month at the very least. I’m trying to get into the habit of blogging much more systematically, and this should help. 

First off, let’s start with something Catholic before I go off topic. Though I don’t have an Android anymore (sometimes I miss the little green dude) through Twitter I found an amazing app that is a 1962 Missal and Breviary! I’m all about that pre-VII life yo. If I didn’t have a basic iPhone 6s I’d totally have it. I know using your phone during mass is a little weird and not recommended, but the app is still pretty cool. The thought of whipping out a phone during a Latin mass is pretty funny to me. I’ll have to show the discovery to my parish priest, since we’re cool like that. Having religious as friends is really cool and amazing and edifying btw. Highly recommended. 

 Next, I want to take a long minute or two to rave about the new brand I discovered, Colourpop Cosmetics. This brand is nothing short of AMAZING. The colors are rich, super pigmented, and the staying power is ridiculously good. For example, I was wearing a satin lippie stix (Frida) while eating heavy duty carne asada fries with my beloved boyfriend, and the color barely budged. I’m talking extra carne, a ton of melty cheese, fresh guac, and sour cream, and I still looked on point for just stuffing my face. The brand is affordable, high quality, and without yucky ingredients, so I’ll definitely be back to pick up some ultra satin and matte lippies. (I’ve got my eye on Echo Park, Dopey, and Lumiere 2)

Lastly, since we’re on the topic of beauty I also discovered some fabulous falsies at Wal-Mart. I didn’t take pictures, but they are the demi wispies from Salon Perfect. They’re an exact dupe for my other favorite brand, Ardell, and they’re a little cheaper. I am currently obsessed with them; my regimen isn’t complete until they’re on and I can flutter away into a glittery oblivion with my lashes. I doubted the power of falsies before I tried them for myself, and there’s no going back. 

So there you go, missals and makeup. That’s all me, friends.